who am I kidding?

I am pretty good at hiding how I am feeling in social situations. I am frequently asked about the adoption and why is it taking so long? I am great at shrugging it off and claiming that we are very patient and that it will all be worth it in the end. blah. blah. We have been #2 on our agency’s list for almost a month and have been told it could be “any day now” for just as long. Recently, I have looked around my house and noticed that it is an absolute disaster. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that I am incredibly OCD and everything HAS to be in it’s place in order for me to function. Well, right now my house is an incredible and embarassing mess. It is unbelievable. Well, actually, there are parts of it (the more public areas) that are fine. It is just the spaces that are more mine that anyone elses. Like my desk:

and my closet:

We won’t even get into my jewelry/art studio because that is just ridiculous. So it became very apparent that I am NOT doing as well as I thought. I am having a terrible time. I have been trying to fool myself that this wait is not getting to me and that everything is great. So now that I have accepted that it is harder that I have thought I am going to work on it. I am going to get everything cleaned up and organized. I will keep you posted. Maybe if everything is perfect we will finally get a referral?

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