Archive for December 2007

my heart is full again

December 24, 2007

Today was such a good day. I can breathe again, and I feel as though one thousand pounds has been lifted off of my shoulders and all of the knots in my stomach have disappeared. I woke up early this morning with the thought that maybe Santa might have emailed me updated pictures of P early for Christmas. I hurried up and checked my email, and there they were. The very first message!

She is so perfect and adorable. She has a fabulous smooshy faced grin. I am so thrilled to have seen my baby smiling and happy. She was holding the care package that we recently sent her, and there is a picture of her holding the photo album with pictures of us. It makes it all feel real again. She has gobs of hair that will be perfect for bows and piggies and you can bet that she will be wearing one moments after we first meet her. She looks happy and healthy and is certainly well-fed!

I couldn’t resist posting a few more tidbits, so here they are. In case you didn’t already know, that’s my baby girl!!! 🙂

I just love her. Thank you Santa for making my wish come true! I am excited because my perfect morning is going to end with a perfect evening at my parents house for a Christmas Eve dinner. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

something that brightened my day

December 23, 2007

It has been very hard waiting for P lately, and I have been working like crazy to stay busy. We have never had much of an on-line presence with our jewelry because we were always too busy working with stores and catalogs etc. to take the time to focus on it. Since we are getting ready for P and are changing our business a bit so that I will be able to be home with her I am trying to get things going on-line. We are really new to Etsy, so I was so surprised to see that we were featured on the front page THREE times this past weekend. It was pretty exciting because I don’t even have a lot of pieces listed yet. I definitely needed the boost this week!

the door is back open

December 22, 2007

P’s bedroom door is back open. I haven’t shut it once in the 2 years we have been going through this, and it didn’t seem ok to shut it now. Little P needs to know that we are her parents and that we love her so much. We would never give up on her. It was just a momentary breakdown. So Little P, I am so sorry for the five hours it was shut. My heart just needed a tiny break and now it is back in the game. I love you and I am strong for you again.
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A big thank you to my angel who found out that updated photos are supposedly on their way. Thank you for taking care of me. I love you.

closing the door

December 22, 2007

I have decided that I need to close the door to baby P’s room. I just can’t look in there anymore. I have no idea when we will travel and we haven’t even received any updated pictures of her since our initial referral picture. I don’t know if she is real and my heart is breaking. I am not handling it well at all. So after what started out as a really nice friday date night with D ended with a major meltdown. I cried myself to sleep and now I have a really pretty puffy face and my eyes are swollen shut. ugh. Good thing I don’t have to go anywhere today. I am trying so hard to stay positive but it just isn’t working anymore.

a thursday haiku

December 20, 2007

If only I had
wings, I’d fly to Vietnam
and bring you home.

two months down

December 19, 2007

It has been two months since our referral. Two very long months. We are anticipating three more. As hard as it is I have to keep telling myself that it will all be worth the wait. I already love her so much and I know that she is my baby girl. She is our family.

Here is another little snippet of her on our two month anniversary. I just can’t wait to kiss those fingers… I love you baby girl. We are coming as fast as we can.

needed a smile

December 19, 2007